Disco Party in the Castle of Love

In case you didn't know, or forgot, I'd like to remind you that penguins are pretty much the coolest animal on the planet. This morning TheRoommate sent me a link to the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Penguin Camera web site. It's up from 7AM to 7PM PST, and you can watch feedings at 10:30 and 3:00. Needless to say I didn't get much work done today.
Since penguins are so awesome, we would like to have one as a pet. Since I am good at answering questions convincingly even when I don't know what I'm talking about, we were able to establish the following:

• Penguins would quickly become domesticated enough if they lived in our apartment so we wouldn't have to worry about them running, err, waddling, away.
  
• Although they probably lack the ability to be potty trained, we could keep them in the tub most of the time so they wouldn't make much of a mess.
  
• If we didn't want them in the tub, we could put them on our patio. This would also win us the Christmas Decorating contest that TheLandlords hold, since our penguin would be way cooler than your multicolored lights and your plastic Santa.
  
• Penguins would make noise, but it wouldn't be too annoying. It would probably sound like this . (It's unclear if we could teach our penguin to dance, but I don't see why not).
  

Please email me if you know where I can get a penguin or if you have one you are trying to get rid of.
In my search to find "penguin music" (I know forget why I was searching for it exactly), I happened across This free mp3 from a group called Emperor Penguin. I think if I had a penguin it would like to listen to this music.
You are going to be so jealous once I get my penguin.

Usher

Chandler Phillips has written an excellent article for Edmunds about going undercover as a Car Salesman.

I'm just glad I don't work on commission.

Lesson of the Day

Today's lesson is about cookies. When making oatmeal cookies, remember that thinner is better. A thin chewy cookie beats a big puffy cookie anyday. However there is such a thing as going too far with the thinness, and that brings us to today's lesson. Bringing butter to room temperature before using it is generally recommended. Melting your butter is not, as you will end up with a soupy butter+sugar mixture, instead of a creamy one.
The end result was some oatmeal cookies so thin that they would fall apart if you tried to pick them up. Still tasty, but certainly not ideal. I recall running into this problem before, when I first started making oatmeal cookies, but I was never sure why. Now that I figured out what's going on, I'm one step closer to perfecting my cookies.

What not to do

In Today's lesson, we are going to talk about the concept of making people feel uncomfortable. I've recently discovered/witnessed/been victimized by several methodologies for causing moderate social discomfort, and I'd like to share a few of them with you.

Technique 1: Making customers feel awkward.
Step 1. Get a job as a receptionist in a smallish office. Small enough so that you know everyone that works there. The office should be part of a larger business such that people will come in from other offices. You may not know these visitors.
Step 2. Speak with someone from a different office, but whom you do not know, on the phone. Tell them that yes, they may use the conference room at your office to meet with a customer later that day. Be sure to not remember who you were talking to after you've hung up.
Step 3. When the customer arrives in advance of the employee they are meeting with (let's call him Joe), welcome them to your office with a blank, pleasant stare. When they ask for Joe, have the following conversation with them:
Them: I'm here to see Joe.
You: What? (say this as if they asked you where you keep the goats)
Them: I have a meeting with Joe.
You: You want to see Joe? (say this as if Joe is Ebola)
Them: Yes
You: Are you sure you are in the right office? (say this as if you suspect they were looking for KGB headquarters)
Them: Yes (smiles, albeit confusedly)
You: Oh well you should wait in here, I think he might have called earlier (direct them to a small conference with glass walls)
You: << Whine to co-workers about how it's late and you want to go home (it's 5:00) >>


OK I was going to write about another one but we'll save that for another time.